Putting Holes in Happiness
by KorilinelovesDestiel
Summary: It's all my fault he's dead... But maybe with my death it will be better... rated T  for suicide.  Songfic incorporating Marilyn Manson's Putting Holes in Happiness.  Sequel to Just a Car Crash Away.


Putting Holes in Happiness

*666*

_The sky was blonde like her_

_It was a day to take the child_

_Out back and shoot it_

_I could have buried all my dead_

_Up in her cemetery head_

_She had teh dirty word witchcraft_

_I was in the deep end of her skin_

_Then it seemed like a one-car wreck_

_But I knew it was a horrid tragedy_

_Ways to make the tiny satisfaction disappear_

"He's the one whose friend killed himself..."

"Yeah, rumor is that they were gay for each other..."

"You think it's true?"

"I dunno about Blondie, but Pretty Boy I wouldn't be surprised about... Did you see what he was wearing at the dance?"

"Yeah, what's up with a guy wearing a kimono and getting himself up like a geisha? What a fag..."

Uzumaki Naruto sat in a seat in the corner of the classroom with his head in his hands, trying to ignore teh people whispering about him. He wished Sasuke were here... Sasuke would distract him.

But of course, Uchiha Sasuke had killed himself three weeks ago on Halloween night, and it was all Naruto's fault...

*Flashback*

"N-Naruto, I love you..."

Naruto was shocked. This had started out pretty normally, and now Sasuke was professing his love for him! And kissing him, no less!

"L-leave..." he said quietly. he was in shock.

And then he saw his friend's eyes fill with unshed tears. The sight of tears in Sasuke's coal black eyes went through Naruto like a knife. He had hurt his best friend...

"Sasuke, I..." he began, but Sasuke turned and ran.

"SASUKE!"

*End flashback*

Yeah, he and Sasuke had been gay for each other, but they hadn't known until it was too late... Sasuke, thinking that Naruto hated him, took a katana from the wall above his bed and stabbed himself through the heart with it. He had bled to death in Naruto's arms soon after. Naruto's dreams were constantly haunted by images of Sasuke rising from the week-old grave beside his parents and older brother and standing over Naruto with a sad look in his eyes, as if to say, "I loved you, and you killed me."

Naruto was jolted out of his memories as a hand came down on his desk. He looked up and saw the biggest jock in school, Hyuga neji, standing over him.

"Whaddya want, Hyuga?" he snapped.

"Just to tell you I'm sorry you haven't killed yourself like your faggot boyfriend."

"Get fucked Hyuga."

"And who's gonna make me? You, faggot?" Neji's friends snickered syncophantically.

Naruto looked at him in disgust.

"I'd rather blow Sasuke."

Neji looked revolted.

"I knew there was something wrong with you two. You stupid freaks..."

Naruto hauled off and punched Neji in the nose, breaking it.

"Agh, that was my nose, cocksucker!" he howled.

"Oh really? I had no idea," said Naruto calmly. "That was for insulting Sasuke. And this..." -he kicked Neji in the balls- "...is for wasting my time with your idiocy." He got up and walked to the door.

"So you were in love with each other..."

"Yeah, didn't you hear me earlier? If you don't like it go fuck your mothers."

He stalked out of the classroom.

*666*

Naruto trudged down the hallway to his locker. Memories flashed through his head... Him and Sasuke fighting over the display for their project on the origin of anime... going to a Marilyn Manson concert and Sasuke having to save him from the middle of a mosh pit... Holding his best friend as the life bled out of him... That final kiss...

_Blow out the candles on all my Frankensteins_

_At least my deathwish will come true_

_YOu taste like valentines and we cry_

_You're like a birthday_

_I should've picked the photograph_

_It lasted longer than you._

"Naruto."

Naruto jumped and turned to see his friend Gaara standing behind him.

"Don't dwell on it too much. Sasuke wouldn't want you to beat yourself up about what happened."

"But I can't stop," Naruto said, trying to hold back tears. "If I'd just told him the truth when he came out to me, he'd still be alive and that last kiss wouldn't have been our last."

Gaara hugged him, an uncommon gesture for the stoic redhead.

"It's OK to cry."

And Naruto did. He cried into Gaara's shoulder, heedless of the people staring as they walked by on the way to their own lockers.

Finally, as the hallways emptied, Naruto raised his head and dried his eyes.

"You're not going to do anything stupid, Naruto," Gaara told him. It was more a statement than a question.

"No," Naruto said dully. The crying had made him tired.

"Because you still have freinds and family on this side. And Sasuke wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

"I know,"said Naruto, looking Gaara in the eye. That was teh key to a good liar... Always look someone in the eye when you want them to believe you.

Of course it was a lie, because Naruto had been planning his own death ever since Sasuke had offed himself. In fact, he had bought a pistol from the local pawn shop last week, the same day as Sasuke's funeral. he'd been planning to walk up to the grave after they'd put the casket in and then shoot himself. Then they could be together forever physically as well as spiritually. But he had chickened out.

Not this time though. It ended tonight, and Naruto was ready.

*666*

Naruto came home, ate dinner and made an excuse to go out again. His mother looked worried.

"Come back home before nine, sweetie," she said.

"Yeah, Mom," he answered, knowing that he wouldn't come home again.

He had his flashlight in his bag, along with flowers, incense, drawing pad, pencils, battery-powered lantern, bullets, and of course the gun he'd bought at the pawn shop.

_Putting holes in happiness_

_We'll paint the future black if it needs a color_

_My death sentecne is now a story_

_Who'll be digging when you finally let me die?_

_The romance of our assassination_

_If you're Bonnie I'll be your Clyde_

_But the grass is greener here and _

_I can see all of your snakes_

_You wear your ruins well_

_Please run away with me to Hell._

It was dark at six thirty in November, so Naruto walked down the street toward the Shinseki Cemetery unhindered and unquestioned. Even in the darkness, he easily navigated his way through the cemetery to the acre of land reserved for the Uchiha family, and from there to the freshly turned earth that was Sasuke's final resting place. He kneeled in front of it, setting the flowers on the ground. He knew his friend would appreciate the lavender... Then he put the incense in teh holder. The smell of sakura blossoms wafted over him.

he turned on the lantern, and the light illuminated the inscription on the stone in front of him...

_Uchiha Sasuke_

_July 23, 1992- October 31, 2010_

_Loving son, caring friend_

_"Quoth the raven nevermore."_

_-E.A. Poe_

"Yeah, you were the most awesome friend I ever had..." Naruto whispered to the stone. "This doesn't even scratch the surface, does it?"

he sat down and took out his drawing pad.

*666*

Two hours later, Naruto was done. He put the pad down, took the picture and put it in his pocket. Then he leaned against Sasuke's headstone and pulled out the pistol, whcih was fully loaded, even though Naruto was sure only one bullet would be enough.

_Blow out the candles on all my Frankensteins_

_At least my deathwish will come true_

_YOu taste like valentines and we cry_

_You're like a birthday_

_I should've picked the photograph_

_It lasted longer than you._

"Aishiteruze... Sasuke-kun..." he said softly, putting the barrel to his right temple.

No hesitation or chickening out this time. The trigger was pulled and Naruto fell into the blackness with a smile on his face.

*666*

When naruto didn't come home at nine, his parents became frantic. They called up the police, who searched until midnight, when their shift was over.

The next morning, the grave tender out on his rounds found Naruto and called the police. The police called Naruto's parents, who came to identify their only child. As Kushina wailed to the police how she should've seen it coming since his best friend died, another officer found Naruto's suicide note.

"Ma'am, I think you should look at this," he said, handing it to her. She opened it with her husband Minato standing behind her. Then she began to weep. The paper fluttered out of her hand to the ground.

The picture was one of Sasuke and Naruto silhouetted against a full moon. They were kissing.

On the other side was Naruto's suicide note...

_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_This wasn't at all your fault. It was my fault that Sasuke killed himself. SoI guess I should tell you something... I'm gay. Sasuke was and still is teh only one for me. I've gone to wherever he is so we can be together again. Bye._

_Love,_

_Naruto_

Owari T_T


End file.
